Going The Distance, Long Distance That Is

Valentine’s Day just passed. In the mist of watching everyone go bonkers over the perfect date, the perfect card, and the perfect gift… there I was without a gift to give or gift to receive.

Should I whip out and start playing the tiniest violin known to mankind? I think I’ll save myself the humiliation and self-pity.

If I were single or in a relationship I would still have the same opinion towards Valentine’s Day. I’ll be honest: it’s kinda bogus. I really don’t see the point in spending $50+ on a bouquet of roses that’ll just be tossed in the trash after a few days of sitting in front of my windowsill instead of using that money towards something realistic… like filling up my gas tank. Nor do I see the point in gorging myself with a tin can of assorted heart-shaped chocolates just because retailers tell me it’s socially acceptable (I can do that any day I darn well please!). My belief is if you are in a relationship, don’t treat Valentine’s Day any differently than your day to day romance. If you’re single, don’t put so much pressure on yourself for 1) being single and 2) not having someone to shower you with gaudy merchandise and artificially flavored treats. Make yourself a plate of bacon, some Nutella stuffed French Toast, get cuddly on the couch in your favorite PJ’s, and crank up some throw-back tunes. Hey, that’s exactly what I did for V-Day 2015. Shout out to my suite mate for sharing such a romantic brunch together…

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Nutella: a girl’s first love.

Valentine’s Day itself didn’t put me in a funk. It was the constant “Heeeeey. How are you?”, “You okay?”, “Do you miss him?”, “Were you able to talk today?”, “Did he get you anything?, “Did you get him anything?”, “Can I get you something?”, “Awe, I’m so sorry!”, “Gosh, I just don’t know how you do it!” comments that made my head spin. If your usage of context clues is a bit rusty, I suppose I’ll just come out and say that yes, I am in a long distance relationship. Yes, it has it’s moments of pure poo. No, we couldn’t exchange any sort of gifts for Valentine’s Day. And please, there is no need for sympathy or overly dramatic vent sessions. That’s not the way I roll. Instead, I think I’ll use this bog entry to poke fun at the current predicament I am in. A little comic relief ain’t never hurt nobody! Shall we? Let’s!

1) My “shnookums” (Good grief, the thought of people using that seriously is nauseating) is stationed in Okinawa, Japan. That’s a 14 hour time-zone difference. *Drops the mic*. Lemme just BE REAL for a minute. If you thought staying up to crash-study for an exam was tough, try imagining the insane jet lag he will have come May. It’s 1:20 PM in NJ at this very moment. It’s 3:20 AM in Okinawa. Yeah, that’s what I thought… *tosses hair behind shoulder*.

2) If having 14 hours of a difference wasn’t enough (oh, silly! I’m just getting started!) add on the factor that he’s currently sleeping on Mt. Fuji without a WiFi connection… or heat… or you know, real food. Moments when I want to send him a text or have a quick phone call are nonexistent as of right now. And moments where he miraculously gets WiFi from a random source I get text messages like this…

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3) Getting hit on by various frat-boys and other debonair men. They don’t seem to understand that just because my significant other isn’t physically here I am still not available nor do I want to be a part of your “weekend escapades”. Telling me that my boyfriend is equivalent to the goldfish you have isn’t exactly the greatest form of persuasion. Actually, I feel sorry for the goldfish. As my boyfriend once said, “When I come home just point ’em out.” In other words, he’s coming after ya… and your goldfish… because swimming in a fish bowl year after year (see what I did there) is depressing enough.

4) LONELINESS. I keep busy. I balance my day around school work, eating/cooking/cleaning, hanging out with friends, checking-in with my parents, and soul-searching through YouTube videos, Pinterest pins, and the Cooking Channel. Nonetheless, when it is a beautiful day outside (heck, when it’s miserable weather) sometimes I get really down knowing I can’t go out or stay in with him. I convince myself to seize the day regardless. But there’s only so much of my own company I can take. See, if he were here than we could mutually grow impatient with one another! Just kidding! …maybe. No really, in all seriousness as much as you try to accept the distance and time, loneliness has a way of creeping in without an invitation. Loneliness is like the relative you don’t want showing up to your family function but manages to be the first at the door and the last to leave. It just is what it is.

5) The waiting game. Fortunately, we have less than 75 days until we finally see one another. 74 to be exact (being in a long distance relationship makes you a wee-bit calendar crazy! I have four in my room. Don’t gimme that look. I’m organized and excited… sue me). That may seem like a long time to some people. Compared to the 7 months (217 days) we originally started with, these 74 days seem like nothing but a mere speed bump on our long distance relationship journey. If I want to take a break from being a realist and join Team Optimism, the countdown does add a nice dose of anticipation to my life. X-ing off another day from my calendar only makes me more excited. Regardless, I still miss my best friend.


Though I gotta admit, today’s technology is pretty fantastic. Years ago, deployments we’re a lot tougher without the daily/weekly/monthly/yearly form of communication. Loved ones would wait on edge to hear from those in the service. Thankfully, today, there is so much offered in order to converse, see, and hear from a significant other. TIME INC. NETWORK posted a wordpress entry regarding 5 apps that connect and assist those in long distance relationships. If you have an iPhone or Android, these little gadgets are pretty nifty if you and your “bae” (I just learned what that stood for about a month ago) are able to connect, even if it’s just for a little bit. The fact so many forms of communication are available really is remarkable.


The beauty of my long distance relationship is that there is an end in sight. There’s a goal. It’s 74 days away, but it’s there! And it’ll be so gratifying to no longer have to count another day a part (I’m getting sentimental. Someone tell a joke). Does is currently stink? In the words of Sarah Palin, “You betcha!”. Nothing ever comes easy. You just have to take the good with the bad.

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XO – Tomasetti

P.S. If you have a minute or two (you do, don’t be lazy), give this a click. Buzzfeed hit the nail on the head.

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1 Comment

  1. Being in a long distance relationship could be very challenging but as well as rewarding. I was in a long distance relationship for a few months with my boyfriend who had left to the military for 22 weeks. At first it was not easy at all, but afterwards I got used to it.
    I found myself doing stuff in order to keep my mind distracted. Like you mentioned doing homework, hanging out with friends and family really help me overcome the situation.

    Like

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